Status Update

Hey, everyone!  It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?  I’m sure you’re all waiting for an explanation of some sort, aren’t you?  Well, what can I say?  I got too busy to maintain the schedule I wanted, started other projects that demanded a schedule, realized that my grades needed to be a higher priority, and I guess a slightly masochistic blog just kind of wasn’t at the top of my priority list.  However, I do enjoy this blog (well…I enjoy being able to reread it) and never intended to abandon it.

That’s right, after a long hiatus, it’s back.  I don’t know how frequently updates are going to come, but they’re likely going to be very sporadic at this point.  I do have Chapter 8 of Silent Hero complete, as well as Chapter 4 of Fangquest.  I’ll post them both sometime next week.

Just letting you know that this isn’t dead, that I haven’t forgotten it, and that if it does die, I’ll be sure to let you know.


Published in: on September 23, 2011 at 12:59 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,

Midterm Hiatus


So, some of you have maybe noticed that I didn’t update a chapter of FangQuest last Wednesday.  And I’ll admit right now that I don’t have the chapter I was planning to upload this Saturday for Silent Hero read yet.  This is because I’ve been very busy lately, and I don’t have time to sit down, read shitty stuff, and then post on it.  It’s midterms where I am, and I’ll probably have some time on Spring Break (yay, choir tours and long bus rides) to catch back up.  But for now, my grades come first.

So for this week, and probably the next, there won’t be any updates.  Sorry.


Published in: on March 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

Coming Soon: FangQuest


I’m afraid, folks, that I have very sad news.  Brian Jacques, one of my favorite childhood authors, passed away earlier this week (on February 5, 2011, to be exact).

Brian Jacques is most notable for the series of books set in the Redwall universe.  Admittedly, the books did tend to get a bit repetitive, particularly near the end of its life, but that’s to be expected once it contains twenty-three books.  But to me, these book got me into the fantasy genre.  There’s something about anthromorphic woodland creatures fighting each other that fuels dreams.  My personal favorites were Redwall, Mossflower, Mattimeo, Martin the Warrior, and Lord Brocktree.  Rest in peace, Brian Jacques.  Your books may not always have been the best, but they were always entertaining to read.

And in honor of this wonderful man and his whimsical series, I’m going to be adding a new story to the blog, this one a Redwall “homage” called FangQuest.  It’s a book written by Daniel Jones, a good friend of mine.  Unfortunately, it also sucks (he wrote it and self-published it at fifteen), a fact that he is more than aware of.  But I’ve asked him, and he’s given me permission to spork it.

Again, thank you, Brian Jacques, for being such a big part of my childhood.  Sure, you may have had too much of a thing for riddles and food, and there might have been some unfortunate racial implications, and I admit that there were some plot holes, and it may be true that you technically only had about five books that you just kept rewriting, and that the cash cow was probably dry by the time of your death, but damn if I didn’t love every word of your books.  Thank you so much.

FangQuest will update on Wednesdays.  Silent Hero will continue to update on Saturdays.


Published in: on February 10, 2011 at 7:36 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: ,

Welcome to BARF!

Hey, everyone.  If you’re reading this, then you’re obviously going through this blog in chronological order.  Or you’ve just somehow managed to stumble across the site before I get anything up.  Anyway, I’m Andy, and I’ll be reviewing crappy fiction.  I’m not talking about published stuff here.  No, if it’s published, there are always some redeemable qualities to it.  I’m talking more along the lines of fanfiction and self-published novels.  Almost everything I review is available for free viewing/download somewhere or another, so you can read along if you like.  But then again, why would you want to?

I’m sure that some of you have heard of Sturgeon’s Law, which states that 90% of everything is crap.  Often times, it’s added that the remaining 10% is worth dying for.  You will not find that 10% here.  What you will find here is the worst of the worst.  The unimaginative, the poorly handled, the unfunny, and worst of all, the boring.  These stories are not going to be fun to read.  They will be a trial.  But what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, right?  So let’s dive into the worst of the worst to learn from their mistakes.


Published in: on January 8, 2011 at 10:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,