FangQuest, Chapter 3

 

As we begin chapter 3, in which not much happens, a bunch of people bring back a crapload of food that was evidently able to grow solely on firelight and garden fog. Then there’s a paragraph of food porn. Then, probably because a squirrel shouldn’t exactly be able to wield a battle-ax, Jacques makes a dirk out of obsidian. This really has nothing to do with what’s coming up.

After Marina and Barkfur discuss what’s obvious to the audience and should be obvious to them (i.e., the Powerstones have special powers), they eat. Then, Mibs flies around and looks for an exit. We are assured that, even though he talks not goodly, he is actually quite intelligent. Um…okay? Good to know? After he returns, he tells them where they’ll leave, complete with a completely new accent. This one looks to be either Southern or Scottish.

They go through Mibs’s tunnel and find another cavern. This one is a bit smaller than the last one, but it’s prettier. It’s decked out in white marble and carvings, with columns that resemble Greek or Roman architecture. Did we mention that Greece and Rome existed in this alternate universe? It’s true. A particularly dark chapter of history is that of the Dog-emperor Nero, and how he would feed lions to the Christians.

Also, there’s a huge-ass mosaic on the floor of Blackfang. Oh, wait, he’s just Fang, Blackfang’s ancestor. Just Blackfang’s. Not his siblings’.

You may, at this point, be wondering why I’ve started color coding the names according to the Powerstones.  Well, it’s because each character has so little personality that I doubt you’ll be able to tell them apart.  In fact, the Powerstone they have is probably the closest each of them comes to having any sort of identity.  So it’s for your sake!

Anyway, while they’re all admiring this out-of-place architecture, Jacques heads around the corner, and this stag comes out. Does it walk on two legs or four? Again, dunno. But at least we know his rack is polished.  It “was polished until it was as white as a gentle cloud.” Some awkward wording in this sentence, but the more I think about the metaphor, the more I like it. It’s creative, original, and works. Good job, author! I salute you for that one.

And I flinch at the next sentence: “Maxus?” Jacques said looking as if he had seen a ghost.

Great job, author. Way to blow a creative, original metaphor with a lame, boring, cliché one.

Coming up next time: a hint of perspective, the most dickish reunion ever, and a trial by fire.

Andy

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Published in: on March 2, 2011 at 11:42 pm  Leave a Comment  
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